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DeveloperX
202192397
Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 1626
Location: Decatur, IL, USA
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 Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:41 am Post subject: and just when I thought life was going well... |
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...my fiance that I've been with for seven years just up and left me!
:(
and I ask WHY DAMNIT?! ...why the hell did I lose the love of my life?
...its just not fair.
and to anyone who is thinking of asking:
yes, she answered the question "why". and the answer was "she just doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. She's happier when I'm not around." ...like WTF!!
bleh..I know that personal issues don't belong here..just needed to blow of a bit of steam...if it bothers anyone; I give the mods permission to simply delete the thread.
*sighs*
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Principal Software Architect
Rambling Indie Games, LLC
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Locrian
Wandering Minstrel
Joined: 04 Apr 2003
Posts: 105
Location: VA USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:51 am Post subject: |
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at least you had a fiance. I've been single for 8 years. I recently found someone that I was interested in, and she was interested in me, but her interest only lasted for one night with me!
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Ninkazu
Demon Hunter
Joined: 08 Aug 2002
Posts: 945
Location: Location:
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:54 am Post subject: |
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I can lift a glass to that. I lost my fiancée in February. Be prepared for years of self-anguish :\
Fuck I need another drink now. Good programmers shouldn't have to deal with this shit.
I comment my code, dammit
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dbest
Milk Maid
Joined: 02 May 2007
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:52 am Post subject: |
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Hey man...
Hang in there... and while you are there.. you can either try to figure out, "why" she felt that way.... wat changed?
or
you could just give a damm, and live your life the way u want to...
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Terry
Spectral Form
Joined: 16 Jun 2002
Posts: 798
Location: Dublin, Ireland
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BadMrBox
Bringer of Apocalypse
Joined: 26 Jun 2002
Posts: 1022
Location: Dark Forest's of Sweden
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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Damn man. That's some rough answer wasnt it? Keep in there DevX, I know that life can be a utterly bitch but stuff usually solves itself in the end.
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DeveloperX
202192397
Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 1626
Location: Decatur, IL, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:17 am Post subject: |
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...and it gets worse...
now she is dating someone she has known for a year that she met in her first year of college...she claims that she never cheated on me but now I'm really suspicious that maybe she left me FOR HIM and not for the reason she gave me...grrr this sucks.
thanks guys for your support. It is very much appreciated; and is definitely what I need now. I've got no real friends in 200 miles..so its REALY lonesome around here now. :( ..thought it was bad enough having just my fiancee ...but now theres no one...god I hate this city.
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Nodtveidt
Demon Hunter
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 786
Location: Camuy, PR
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:41 am Post subject: |
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Harsh, it happened to me once too, so I know how it goes. The reality of the situation is of COURSE she left you for him, and it's going to suck to be her when she gets dumped BY him. Call it poetic justice if you will, but that's how karma works. But honestly, anyone who will just get up and leave is not worth your time regardless of how long you've been with them. They're simply not worth it, period. Move on as soon as possible, because no one's worth lamenting about.
Yes, she lied to you, and her reasons are half-bogus. The REAL reason she said she "has no feelings for you anymore" is because she's been taken for a fool by someone else, and when someone is swayed like that, they become weak and easily manipulated.
Even if she was to come crawling back, would you take her back? I had to deal with this problem...it all boiled down to "when will you lie and leave next?". Living in constant fear of being alone AGAIN is not a very fun time, so don't set yourself up for it. You're better than that; don't EVER play second fiddle.
When this happened to me, I also felt very lonely. I had virtually no friends (still don't and never will). But you know what? It's a great time to get to know yourself again, and to become a stronger person. Become happy with yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but never could because you were tied down to someone.
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love."
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If you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices. The scary part is that if you play it forwards it installs Windows. - wallace
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Ninkazu
Demon Hunter
Joined: 08 Aug 2002
Posts: 945
Location: Location:
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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At least it was someone she knew for a long time. Mine left me for some guy on Facebook that said, "I think you're cool. Can we meet?"
Fucking bollocks.
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tcaudilllg
Dragonmaster
Joined: 20 Jun 2002
Posts: 1731
Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Dude, this is why I'm into socionics research as much as I am. Exactly that very reason. Socionics really helps you make sense of relationships.
With socionics you might have seen this coming.
Why not look for a total dork girl like me? :) (that's not saying I'm a girl, but rather, that you would probably be much happier with someone who took a really cold, logical approach to life.) Man you'd get along so well with a dork girl. A fellow computer geek like yourself, that's exactly what you need. ;)
A dork girl could make you aware of how others are evaluating you, and give you advice that will help you respond to the challenges you face.
| nodtveidt wrote: | Harsh, it happened to me once too, so I know how it goes. The reality of the situation is of COURSE she left you for him, and it's going to suck to be her when she gets dumped BY him. Call it poetic justice if you will, but that's how karma works. But honestly, anyone who will just get up and leave is not worth your time regardless of how long you've been with them. They're simply not worth it, period. Move on as soon as possible, because no one's worth lamenting about.
Yes, she lied to you, and her reasons are half-bogus. The REAL reason she said she "has no feelings for you anymore" is because she's been taken for a fool by someone else, and when someone is swayed like that, they become weak and easily manipulated.
Even if she was to come crawling back, would you take her back? I had to deal with this problem...it all boiled down to "when will you lie and leave next?". Living in constant fear of being alone AGAIN is not a very fun time, so don't set yourself up for it. You're better than that; don't EVER play second fiddle.
When this happened to me, I also felt very lonely. I had virtually no friends (still don't and never will). But you know what? It's a great time to get to know yourself again, and to become a stronger person. Become happy with yourself. Do all the things you wanted to do but never could because you were tied down to someone.
"Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love." |
Learn socionics. You're living in a half reality made of your own pride. No need to take DevX down with you.
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Nodtveidt
Demon Hunter
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 786
Location: Camuy, PR
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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LG, as usual, you show just how much of a douchebag you really are. Shut the fuck up if you haven't got anything to say. No one wants to hear your egotistical fucking spewfests. You have no idea the weight of what I said because you can't see two inches in front of your own fucking nose on a clear day.
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If you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices. The scary part is that if you play it forwards it installs Windows. - wallace
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XMark
Guitar playin' black mage
Joined: 30 May 2002
Posts: 870
Location: New Westminster, BC, Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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Sidestepping another LordGalbalan flamewar...
Yeah the reason she gave you is total bullshit. She had to say that because the only alternative for her was to admit her own wrongdoing. If she hooked up with that other guy so soon after breaking up with you, they definitely had something going while the two of you were together. Maybe she didn't actually go through the physical motions of cheating on you but it's kind of a moot point.
Leave her in the dirt, and when the other guy dumps her don't let her try to manipulate you into taking her back.
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Mark Hall
Abstract Productions
I PLAYS THE MUSIC THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!
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tcaudilllg
Dragonmaster
Joined: 20 Jun 2002
Posts: 1731
Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| nodtveidt wrote: | | LG, as usual, you show just how much of a douchebag you really are. Shut the fuck up if you haven't got anything to say. No one wants to hear your egotistical fucking spewfests. You have no idea the weight of what I said because you can't see two inches in front of your own fucking nose on a clear day. |
http://socioniko.net/en/articles/lytovs-intro1.html
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Later this theory was confirmed by empiric data. Several years ago psychologists Boukalov, Karpenko, Chikirisova from Ukraine researched a several plants in different cities. After putting together results of testing of the personnel, they found, that many of them were married with each other. An additional research of the married couples had shown that out of 16 possible intertype relationships, the greatest percentage of family relationships (more than one third) belongs to dual relationships [3]. An independent statistical research of family pairs performed by Filatova (St. Petersburg, 1999) has also shown very high percentage of dual pairs (17%) compared to other relationships.
The main idea of socionics is that the type predetermines relations to certain extent.
However, socionics NEVER forgets about other factors (irrelevant to psychological types) that also influence relations, such as economic level, age, sex, culture, corporate traditions, occupation etc.
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But you know what, nodtveidt? You can have your poor relationships. As it is, I've got a girlfriend who is if not a completely perfect match, very close to one. And she's loyal. Extremely loyal. We never have any substantial arguments, and yet we spend most of our time together. We share many interests, and have very similar views. It's not because we are simply "naturally compatible", that we have such a good relationship, either. Socionics allows you to understand the basis for other people's points of view, and to understand it rigorously. With knowledge like that, you can diffuse needless conflicts that obstruct otherwise healthy relationships between yourself and others.
The really pitiful thing, though, is that I know people you would most likely fully agree with, and they are avowed socionics enthusiasts who apply it to their everyday lives. The only reason I can see for your inacceptance of socionics -- which as noted above, has been researched and validated -- is your own pride.
It doesn't make any sense to me why DevX should have to suffer from your own prejudices.
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Nodtveidt
Demon Hunter
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 786
Location: Camuy, PR
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 12:04 am Post subject: |
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Like I said, LG...no one gives a rat's hairy ass about your armchair sociology. If you understood a fucking word I said (which you didn't, how shocking), you'd see that it's not about suffering, it's about experience and strength. You lack both experience and strength, so you wouldn't know the first thing about a relationship.
Furthermore, if you knew me, which again, you do not, you'd know that I'm very happily married and have a daughter.
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If you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices. The scary part is that if you play it forwards it installs Windows. - wallace
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tcaudilllg
Dragonmaster
Joined: 20 Jun 2002
Posts: 1731
Location: Cedar Bluff, VA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 12:32 am Post subject: |
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Armchair sociology my ass. Howabout you show me what "real" sociology is then.
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