[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     Well, recently, Entivore made a great big post with lots of text and such, and the common agreement seemed to be that it was much too long, but some of us did read it, offer advice, etc., and altogether I don't think it went so badly, so I was thinking it would be nice if there could be a single thread where people could post links to text documents, and have people comment on it. This way, people who don't enjoy reading/writing game content would know to avoid it, and won't bother reading a bunch of text they won't enjoy anyway. Well, like I said, that's what I was thinking. If it flies, it flies, if it doesn't, it falls, I guess. We'll see how it goes.
     Oh, I recommended links to simple .txt documents because I think that's the most flexible: firstly, if a lot of people post a lot of content to this one thread, there may be technical problems (I'm not really sure), and besides, if it's stored in straight .txt we can all choose to read it with whatever text-editor we most prefer. But if you really want to include the text right in your post, I guess you can.

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     So, it was my idea, guess it's only fair I start it off. Here's something I've been working on for Cairn Hill, designed to illustrate the relationships between the main characters. It's a very simple and straightforward story; what I'm really interested in knowing is whether the sort of abstract, extremely brief, rapid style is acceptable. I mean, is it enjoyable? intelligible? I don't really need technical, specific advice on anything, because I'm going to edit it fairly heavily, but ultimately anything you have to tell me about the story is very welcome.
     Oh, and Entivore doesn't have a choice, he has to read it. I read yours, it's only fair. Sorry, you're morally obligated, and that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Heh heh, I'm kidding, of course. Wait, no I'm not.
     Just so that you know, the ages of the characters in the story are: Morgan: 22, Lucifer: 20, Rhea: 18, Harold: 18, Arthur: 16, Betty: 15; and it takes place five years before the game starts. Oh, it's called Fire. Here's a link to the text version: fire.txt, and here's a link to a nicely html-formatted version: fire.html, and here's another fire.html on another server just in case something goes awry with the first two links. The second one has pop-ups, though, just so I've warned you.

[Ironshanks]

That sounds postively wicked. You really convey a feel for each of the characters. They all seem rather creepy, and yet at the same time not entirely unlikable.

Is this just a sort of preamble for the game? I mean in introducing some of the content.
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That's not a broken link, it's a PICTURE of a broken link. It's really very conceptual.

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

   Thanks; yes, I suppose I should have stated the purpose of the text. I'd written it mostly to help my understanding of the characters and their relationships. I've posted it here because I was curious how people would respond to the brief, sparse, iconic style. I'm considering writing this way for all the in-game narrative, you see, but I'd like to make sure that that won't turn anybody off. So that's what it's for.

[entivore]

Well, you are certainly the proactive one. That's good. The story seems alright, though I'm not able to judge really because it's not my style. I focus more on what's happening, not the interactions between people. I had a hard time figuring out what was going on, mainly because not much was. Like I said, I focus more on events and less on people.

So are these guys angels, or are they demons? I couldn't really tell.
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*Only in darkness can one truely shine*

[Ironshanks]

Heh, weird. We must come from different reading backgrounds, because I found it fairly clear what was happening.
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That's not a broken link, it's a PICTURE of a broken link. It's really very conceptual.

[Adam]

too short. I wanted to read more :(
highlighting each speaker in a different colour on the html page might help its readability.
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https://numbatlogic.com

[lazee barok`]

whoah!! pumpkin's only been here for a short amount of time and look at the amount of posts he has!

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     If your point is that I talk too much, Barok, that's mean. It's right, but it's mean, too. Heh heh.
     Anyway, I've got nothing to say right now, and I've just recently promised myself that I'd be good and restrict my casual Internet use for a while, so no more posts from me for a week. I promise. Now's your time to catch up, then, if you've fallen behind. Warning: when week's up, I'll be back with a vengeance.
     Except, I've never got nothing to say. I want to ask this: who is Tenshi, exactly? I mean, I've seen the name around, but given that I am now

[Tenshi]

- Hah hah hah hah!! Oh dear Lord, that's Mandrake's Wife's doing. I'm Tenshi, obviously. Glad to see you can spell it, a lot of people on Pixelation refer to me as Tenchi with a C, which means "Heaven & Earth", whereas Tenshi with an S means "Angel". In any case. I'm commonly referred to as the tit nazi, or feminist, or heck, in the past there've been strong debates as to whether I'm a guy or a girl. I'm working on an RPG called Unmei Densetsu, and I'm something of a character design theorist. I'm also a very meticulous person. =)
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- Jaeda

[Ironshanks]

Tit nazi! Now that's something...Heh, not only have your rants become a sort of facet of the pixelation community, but they're also a source of constant amusement. Keep it up.

Oh, Jighgfed, it's not like your spamming or anything, you've got a very high ratio of posts to useful posts.
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That's not a broken link, it's a PICTURE of a broken link. It's really very conceptual.

[Barok]

not being mean, Pumpkin. anyways, no one could talk more than my brother!

average of stuff around here in the past year (estimates):


number of words my bro said: 142,243
number of time our mom got mad at us: 280
number of times my bros (combined) started crying out because I maybe put them in a headlock or something: 200
number of of games i've made: 1


all i've got for now. chow!
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Adosorken: I always liked slutty 10th graders...
Rhiannon: *Slap!*

[Tenshi]

[pissy fit]

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     Alright, anyone who thought I was actually going to stay silent for seven days straight is mad. Really, though, I should stay quiet, since I've got so much stuff to do; that's why I said I'd be leaving, not because you were being "mean", Barok. Really, I was just kidding, and you were too. You're not getting rid of me that easily, anyway.
     Regarding what Tenshi's talking about, I've lately been noticing gender biases creeping into my writing, into the very core of it, which is more than a little unsettling. You can notice this (at least, I seemed to notice it), in the story I had above.
     I have a request: my game's set in a small town in Wales, in the 1920s, and is centered around an large, aristocratic family estate. There won't be many NPCs, so I want them each to be fairly fully-developed characters on their own. I'm having trouble with the maids, though. I mean, the stereotypes are pretty thick, there, and I'm having trouble making one, let alone two or three, real characters. They tend to be either, well, fairly standard caricatures, or, in the opposite direction, simply men with breasts, so to speak.
     Point is, do you have any advice in this area, since it seems to be a topic of interest to you? I'm having difficulty. Better yet (fingers crossed), would you be willing to write a paragraph character-sketch?
     Okay, now I really am gone for the rest of the week; or at least, for a fair bit of time.

[Terry]