[Tenshi]

- Well, I dunno about that, a lot of women can be very reasonable and accountable.

- First of all, my suggestion to you is to make sure you do plenty of research into the various societal expectancies during that time period, how people (men & women) were expected to behave. The societal stereotypes and all that.
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- Jaeda

[Terry]

[Flake1]

http://www.indie-rpg.net/rpgdx/showgame.php?project_id=115

It's the description for my game, King of the Visigoths. Any feedback is appreciated.
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"Our water is poisoned, the ozone's in shreds, and the SUV's are advancing like a plague of locusts." - Michael Moore
Flakesoft Online

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     Well, Flake, I really like the story so far. Is it factual? It doesn't really matter, since the fact that it certainly seems real is enough, but I am rather curious.
     I don't really see what the game itself is supposed to consist of, though. You are to play Basilius, on his way to Rome, right? Does it extend further than this? If that were all you got to do, it would be a little disappointing. Also, it's a little confusing where Basilius' loyalties lie. I understand that he wants to defend Rome, but beyond that, does he still follow the Emperor? Or does he even know? I mean, in the text you have here, it's far, far easier to sympathize with Alaric (who seems, actually, rather cool) than Honorius (who's just lame right down to his name).
     I trust you're not going to dump all that text on the player at the beginning of the game. Any thoughts on how you're going to get it across? Revealing a complicated back-story in a manner both coherent and entertaining is always difficult.
     As I said, I like the story: it's entertaining and interesting. Basilius in particular comes across as a compelling character, and one whom it would be interesting to play. Again, though, it's unclear exactly how it's being transformed into a game; if I knew a little more about that, I could be more precise in my recommendations.
     On another topic,

[Tenshi]

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     How about contemporary Canadian ideals? Or better yet, most of my reading is 19th century; how about I just mix together my modern Canadian ideals with 19th century European ideals to hopefully create 1920's Welsh? Could that work? Let's see... it's 2003 now, that means I need to read stuff from something like 1841. Can anybody recommend anything good?
     Seriously, though, do you think stuff written in the time-period will do, or do you really recommend actual research?
     Hey, that picture's pretty good. Who are the Saree, though?

[Flake1]

[Jihgfed Pumpkinhead]

     Okay, I see. I highly recommend, if it's not too much effort, creating an in-game timeline cum index. The story is long and complex enough that the player could easily get confused; if, whenever they see a turn or event they don't remember, they could look it up in the index, that would go a long way towards keeping it clear, and yet wouldn't distract with a whole bunch of exposition. You might even decide that when someone refers to something the PC would know about but which the player may have forgotten, that term would serve as a link to the correct spot of the index. For example, a NPC-armchair-politician asks:

Rhaetia isn't important. Why doesn't Honorius just buy Alaric off, like he did during their first invsion?

If the in-text highlighting gets a little distracting, you could list all the unusual terms in some other part of the screen, where they'll also be easily accessed. A game which does this very well is "Cosmology of Kyoto" (which I'd highly recommend on its own merits as well).
     I do hope you get to beat down Olympius at some point in the game. I don't like him.
     Good luck. The game sounds interesting. I'll be on tenterhooks until it's done.

[Tenshi]