[DeveloperX]

I woke up from a nightmare in which all my previous gfs told me that I would die alone, pennyless, homeless, and loveless.
Then I check my email and read that my current gf no longer wants to be with me.
I then find that my mom doesn't have another contract to pay the bills, so we may lose both our places.
I checked my bank account and I'm running into the red area...like less than $50.
I guess that the nightmare was a reality.
I truly just want to die.
I've had thoughts of suicide from slitting my wrists to suffocation to throwing myself out the 2nd story window and electrocution.
Though I just don't have it in me to actually do it. I still want to die.
Its like every time that I think for the slightest moment that anything will go right in my life, it all falls to pieces.
I'm stuck on this damned couch because of a freak skateboarding accident, and my whole world is crumbling around me.
I'm breaking the law using my laptop to write this, because some dickwad decided that it should be illegal to use someone else's wifi connection without permission. So I could end up in prison for merely writing a message. How stupid of a world this is that I live in.
I've had my heart broken several times before..but this time is the last. I simply cannot endure anymore.

I honestly thought that things would be different this time. I was wrong.
Here on this couch I shall sit, waiting to die, since there is now nothing left in this world for this poor miserable man.
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Principal Software Architect
Rambling Indie Games, LLC

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[tcaudilllg]

Ah I went through this. I was about your age, too. There are more important things. :) We would not be better off without you. God has given you gifts and you should respect his purpose for you.

[RampantCoyote]

Can't say I've had exactly the same situation, but I've definitely been through some rough spots. And some terrifying times.

Being stuck in limbo trying to change majors at school with numerous, with the military trying to decide whether or not they'd give me the medical discharge, with no money and mounting debt... that was pretty stressful. I don't remember getting depressed, but I was extremely frustrated.

Sitting in the doctors office on my birthday, as my wife's doctor quietly explained to her that she was miscarrying might not have been one of life's biggest traumas, but it was one of the more emotional moments in my life.

Getting the phone call that my seven-months-pregnant wife was just in a car accident was one of the terrifying times.

But not as terrifying and horrible as the day nearly two years later, after said baby girl had been born healthy. I remember holding her as she screamed, strapped to the table, as the doctors frantically put the tube down her throat to fill her stomach with charcoal to absorb the potentially lethal amount of cough medicine her sister had somehow managed to feed her.

There's another incident that I don't feel comfortable talking about here where there are still emotional scars our family hasn't fully recovered from.

Life is full of suck. It's tough when you are hit full-blast by them and are sitting at the bottom of one of the deeper valleys. And nobody else has ever been exactly where you are, so their suggestions of "it gets better," and "things will turn around" really don't ring true or seem to hold much weight.

But you know - things do get better. And worse. You get stronger. You keep putting one foot in front of the other. You concentrate on what you can do right freakin' now, and let tomorrow take care of itself. And things change. That's the one thing that doesn't change in the universe - the fact that everything changes.
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Tales of the Rampant Coyote - Old-School Game Developer talks Indie Games, RPGs, and the Games Biz

[tcaudilllg]

I think a big problem is that in terms of software, we are at something of an economic loggerhead. Half of the population thinks it should be free and pay given only by companies who want it developed for their use, and the other half seems to want to charge for it and to pay for it. I am quite positive that this state of affairs is troubling the economy. It's also worth noting that many of the "free software" people are also pirating pay versions, which of course leads to a loss of return by the developers. They had counted on consumers alone as their revenue source... I don't think that works.