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Terry
Spectral Form
Joined: 16 Jun 2002
Posts: 798
Location: Dublin, Ireland
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 Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 5:06 pm Post subject: An interesting article... |
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Enjoy :)
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1255
(edit) - here's a few quotes, for clarity...
| Quote: | Upon beginning your quest, you'll likely find yourself in a quaint town full of people who love it when you casually saunter into their bedroom and start looking through their shelves for items you can steal. Sure they may have been saving up that healing potion to cure their dying son of the dreaded disease AIDSarion, but by all means, if somebody else like you might want it to heal himself after battling a winged elf fairy frog king (weaknesses: lightning, upholstery), it's all yours! Amazingly, their drawers and cupboards are entirely empty aside from potions, gold, and equipment ideal for warriors such as yourself.
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| Quote: | On your quest, you're likely to run into some tiny godlike creatures who have nothing better to do than hide in your pocket until you unleash them. Not surprisingly, once they're released into a battle, they take their sweet time and won't let you skip their cutscene which is twenty minutes long and ALWAYS shows the exact same attack. Your enemies understand the godlike creatures' slow, methodical way, and will willingly wait for them to finish their spectacular light show which invariably kills them. Hell, you're probably the first person they ever fought, so they don't know any better. Maybe they're exceptionally lonely after years of waiting to fight somebody who actually ventures outside of towns, and hope the gigantic flaming dragon will give them a hug instead of fatally incinerating them.
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| Quote: | Your opposition will usually employ questionable tactics in battle. Instead of concentrating on your character that's delivering the most damage, they either lunge randomly or team up on the female / pansy whose role is limited to "heal," "wait patiently," or "try to attack but miss 80% of the time." Occasionally the pansy enjoys healing a character who has 100% health. You know, just to be sure.
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- Terry Cavanagh
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Bjorn
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Joined: 29 May 2002
Posts: 1425
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Cool, thanks for the link. I'll read that as soon as I've found some free time.
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mandrake@work
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| Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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well, i never really got those rpg cliche articles, albiet this one is funnier just because of the writing style of something awefull, it's still the same old complaints that we here in a thousand other lists all done by people who played only the final fantasy RPG's. These lists should be called "Square Soft" cliche's....not RPG cliche's. Sure, this one is hidden as a "survival kit", but it's basicly a cliche list.
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entilazy
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| Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 12:13 am Post subject: |
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Gotta agree with Mandrake again here. This is definantly similar to a cliche list. And quite focused on Squaresoft.
).
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Terry
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Joined: 16 Jun 2002
Posts: 798
Location: Dublin, Ireland
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| Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2003 10:09 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | This is definantly similar to a cliche list. |
Heh - whatever, I didn't mean it as a thought provoking assult on RPG cliches - I just thought it was funny :).
- Terry Cavanagh
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DarkDread
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Joined: 28 May 2002
Posts: 422
Location: behind your bushes
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| Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 3:25 am Post subject: |
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what's wrong with cliches? Doesn't everybody want to play as a spikey haired hero, searching for answers about his past, and saving the world?
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Adam
Mage
Joined: 30 Dec 2002
Posts: 416
Location: Australia
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Nexinarus
Slightly Deformed Faerie Princess
Joined: 25 Oct 2002
Posts: 32
Location: In the distance
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| Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 9:21 am Post subject: |
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i think.. its good to be original.. but if the cliche is suposed to be funny (like in SOC games heh) they can be good. If its a cliche because they cant think of anything but a person called cloud then thats thier problem...
but if a cliche is done nicely then aah who cares, but its nice for originality.
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DarkDread
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Joined: 28 May 2002
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Location: behind your bushes
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| Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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heh, the cliches in SoC was 'cause I was too unmotivated to think of anything better... they just ended up being funny... so I ran with that. :)
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Nexinarus
Slightly Deformed Faerie Princess
Joined: 25 Oct 2002
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Location: In the distance
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| Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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hehe,
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Ninkazu
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Joined: 08 Aug 2002
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| Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2003 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm, one-liners.... so tastey.
Ya, DD, I wanted to do a spoof of RPGs after playing Cooey III, I think it was going to be called Final Parody. Anyway, I've decided to let my friend Ben come up with crazy ideas, because he's even more insane than me :)
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DarkDread
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Joined: 28 May 2002
Posts: 422
Location: behind your bushes
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2003 12:32 am Post subject: |
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Damn... I like the name... wish I'd a thought of that. Best I can do is Secret of Cooey, and Mattress Warrior. The latter of which, I'm sure at least made some people think the game was about masturbation.
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Ninkazu
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Posts: 945
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2003 3:30 am Post subject: |
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Mattress Warrior... masturbation.... I somehow see the links, but even I, a well known pervert of my school (3000 kids in two grades... jebus that's a lot) did not catch such a connection. I guess subtleties are only hilarious if they can be spotted after the third or fourth mention of it. No offense to you, DD, but that was just a little too deep.... for me, at least. :( Now I'm starting to think of myself as a moron. No! I'm a genius! I'm a genius! *rips off shirt, flexes muscles and runs around the house* I'm a genius!!!
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Nodtveidt
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Joined: 11 Nov 2002
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Location: Camuy, PR
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2003 12:00 pm Post subject: hehe |
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Mattress Warrior could easily have been interpretted as a bedhopping berserker :)
-nek
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DarkDread
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Joined: 28 May 2002
Posts: 422
Location: behind your bushes
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| Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2003 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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heh, well, I didn't even spot the connection m'self at first. It was Mattrunks who pointed it out. He said he downloaded the game, and his parental figure thought that it was some kind of 'perverted game'.
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